Man in The Mirror
If you don’t believe the God can use anything to deliver a message, well I am asking you to take a seat and listen up... just kidding but do lock in (Fortnite reference for my gamers).
For the past week, I have heard ‘I’m starting with the man in the mirror’ on repeat in my thoughts; yup that’s the chorus to Michael Jacksons’ Man in the Mirror, and why I keep hearing that is because that is what I have to do, pay attention to the ‘man’ in my mirror, ME!
If you are new here and haven’t had the awesome pleasure of reading my previous blogs, (please go check them out) I am in a season of transformation. A Chrysalis season. In this season I have experienced some severe hardships and breaking moments, but I have also experienced tremendous change and have for the first time experienced true peace. I have experienced God and have done so in such a way that I wouldn’t change or remove any of those hardships or breaking moments. What I have lost could never and will never outweigh what I have gained. In a recent therapy session, (yup I go therapy and I’m not ashamed because I needed help and was brave enough to seek it – if you need help, don’t suffer silently, get help) I realized that I blamed myself for everything that went ‘wrong’ in my life. I put wrong in quotes because was it actually wrong or just God redirecting... I blamed myself for my kidney failure, for being the odd duck in situations, for anything and everything that was negative. Once I quit my job, I assumed my health would instantly get better and I would have been thriving, bur-nurpppp, nope it was hard, I still felt sick and went right into pushing myself beyond my physical limits in hopes of achieving the thriving. I applied for job after job, assistance programs, anything I could think of that would not cause me my relationship with God. Nothing seemed to go as planned, well as I planned. From then until now, I have heard many criticisms and received blame for the choices I made and the negative effects it had on others (even people it didn’t affect in any way) and with all this blame and finger pointing in my direction I started to point back.
There is a saying in the small business community that states that “family would be the last to support you”, it’s an excuse when family members don’t support their family members business. I have heard that so much (I’ll just say that and leave it there), and I pointed fingers but over the last month I stopped and started ‘working on the man in the mirror’. What I learned was that my plans and Gods plans can be aligned but first I need to align with Him. I must seek His guidance and allow Him to direct my path and provide a plan. I had to stop looking outwardly for a reason, explanation or to place blame. I am in the season because this where God needs me. I am looking inwardly, ‘what does God need me to get from this moment that can be of use for His Kingdom’.
Once I started looking inwardly, I found something great, GRATITUDE, not just for the blessings or the positive things but I found gratitude for the ‘suffering’, the ‘waiting’, and for the ‘losses.’ I found a true appreciation for the little things, rain, sun, a good friend. But the biggest gift of all was that I got to experience the Miracle-Working God, of the Bible. I have encountered Jireh, Rapha, Elohim, I have encountered and experienced God. I can testify that not only does He work as He did in the bible, but these are available to us here today. Yes, I have endured things that have been extremely difficult (some humiliating) but could I write today and tell you that once I stopped looking outwardly for a reason or purpose and started with the ‘man in the mirror’ and giving God the authority to move as is HIS WILL and relinquishing power to HIM, that I have had the amazingly beautiful privilege to encounter God and witness His power if I hadn’t experienced this season?
It’s so easy to blame, or point fingers and deflect accountability, the mirror is not always the easiest thing to look into. We can’t use filters; it only reflects what it is shown. Yes, I made choices, but I had to lay these choices and the repercussions at the feet of my creator. I accepted responsibility and gave up control. Has my season changed, to the person looking in form the outside, nope, but I feel the change every time I smile and it’s genuine. I see the change every day, moments where I should break, I pray. Every morning I look in the mirror, I see and feel the change. Today I challenge each of you, look in the mirror, are we tying to place blame somewhere or at someone but in reality, it could be God preparing us, or redirecting us? Today, start with the ‘man in the mirror’ and once you do you will begin to see yourself uniquely and see your circumstances uniquely and that together with creating and maintaining a connection with God, you will experience true peace, God-given peace. The life that Jesus promised us in John 10:10, a full life.
A little side note – Jesus, the son of God experienced hardships, disbelief, attacks on His character, and so much more, why as a Christian do we feel that we shouldn’t? God used Jesus’ greatest attack for so much good. God may not be the author of all your hardships, but He can use all things for the good of His people.